Feliz Cumpleanos, Aaron

Today's the big day. Aaron turns 14! We are not at all ready for the party and he keeps adding things. Like 15 minutes ago (after I'd just returned from what I hoped was my last trip to Wal Mart for the day) - he goes to Michele and says, "I think my party needs a theme. How about rainbows... no, PINK, Think Pink..... I just made that up!." Oh dear! I think the package of balloons has 1 pink one in it. Anyway - party details will come later as they are apparently still in development.

On birthdays, it's hard not to look back on the days we've had with our kids - and boy what a journey it's been with Aaron. Life with special needs is an interesting one and one that affects the whole family. It's hard in so many ways, with the loss of dreams we have for our children and there's sadness for the hard things we know our kids will have to deal with in this world that puts so much value on conformity and being normal. It's also a life that bring special moments and an appreciation of all (or most of) the moments with not just the special ones, but the others too, (who are special too, in a different way). It adds a little more joy to all the things, both big and small, that all the kids accomplish. It's not a life I'd change. We (special needs parents) are all often asked, if we could change it, would we choose for our kids not to have whatever they have, which is a ridiculous question for so many reasons, but I think the answer for almost all of us would be that that is not even a thought we would ever even think - changing one part of them would make them totally different people - what makes your child your child is all wrapped up in who they are from the day they are born and how God created them and you start loving who they are before you ever even meet them and you continue to love who they become and if you are really blessed, they become amazing people who you really like too. And I am blessed - my kids amaze me every day and mostly they bring me nothing but joy. And Aaron brings a special joy all his own. He doesn't let me forget that joy, which could easily be swallowed up in the busy-ness of life, for very long. And there's something else Aaron has taught me over time. After reading many depressing books on the subject of austism, which mostly dealt with the fact that they will never really be able to communicate or understand people or emotions, blah, blah, blah...., we did finally get someone to confirm our suspicions. The first thought I remember thinking, was How will he ever know God, if he can't even know himself or anyone else? It took time, but Aaron taught me first, that all the books were rubbish and then with God's help, he helped me come out of the fog and realize that God created everyone with the capacity, and even the need, to know Him - why are any of us here but for that. Now I may never know how he is able to know God, but I know God can reach him even when we can't. That stays truth whether I can see or even understand how. And that has to be enough.

As you all know, Aaron keeps us constantly entertained and he makes our life very full. I'll keep recounting the events and you all can read them or skip them. I'll try to post the party details this weekend.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, AARON!

WE LOVE YOU!!

And while I'm on the subject (well actually I'm off it, but I'm getting back on it), the goofy (changing them) question is no different that asking us, if we could pick a different kid than any of the ones we have, would we trade them off for another - that's slightly offensive if you think about it, although I guess there are people in the world that would jump at that opportunity. Oh well. Thank you, God - my kids are keepers.

And if you made it this far in my post, thank you for listening to the long-winded ramblings of this mother on her baby boy's special day.

Birthday requests

I've been trying to get Aaron to give me some ideas for his birthday. He's kept saying, "I don't know." (Notice the proper use of pronouns.) Finally as I was leaving the house this morning, he followed me out and said, "Maybe you could just get me something that you think I might like for my birthday." And then he reminded me of a couple of games he'd been looking to buy on the internet just in case I didn't get his hint. How far we've come from the last minute crazy lists of years gone by. I'll never forget the year of the reptile. What was it Genny - something like 5 days or so until his birthday, maybe less - and he gave me this list:

• A T-Rex blanket
• A stuffed stegasaurus
• A stuffed narwal (I know, not a reptile, but close enough)
• A brontosaurus pillow
• A comodo dragon that says, "Hey, there's a slug on my tail!"

There were a few more, but I've forgotten them now.
Genny and I were trying to figure out how to come up with at least some of these and of course none of them were available, so I managed to make the blanket, the stegasaurus, and the pillow with Genny's help and sewing machine. I found what I hoped might pass for a narwal, but of course he knew the difference and immediately identified it as an angler fish. Can't get much past him. Actually, I'm not sure I've ever gotten anything past him. We tried the come up with some way to approximate the talking comodo dragon but of course the zoo had sold it's last comodo dragon after closing that exhibit. He seemed pretty satisfied with our efforts at least. I think that will go down as the craziest birthday list of all time. You can't say the kid's not interesting. I think this year's requests will be easier to fill. We'll see. And hi Genny and Paige - you girls and me seem to be the only ones left in blogging land - thought I'd note that. I hope the rest of you are well. I'm actually sick now, but I'd rather do this than work. Guess I'd better try to accomplish something though.

Our House

I thought I'd post a picture of our house since you've now seen the insides of my walls. The only one we have of it is from the snows last Easter which is good because it actually looks best dressed in snow. It was built in the 1920s sometime, so it's very old.

And this can be my contribution to the moving along of the seasons too. Fall, Winter, I'll take either one.

Youth (is wasted on the young?)

I forgot this part of the plumbing adventure. I've got the cabinet in and the sink on and I'm fighting with the leaking pipes still. And by this time I'm starting to feel the pain. Aaron walks in and says, "You're not as young as you used to be, are you?" Yep, that pretty much says it all. But I'm still a better plumber than anyone else in the house, so maybe I've still got some life in me.

Adventures in Plumbing

As you may know, I was going to have to do a little plumbing repair today. When I got into the wall, I found the reason. Our resident mouse had chewed a hole through the rubber connector that connects the pvc pipe coming from the sink drain to the old lead pipes inside the wall. I hate mice. We had one in FW once that ate our dishwasher though. At least this was cheaper than that. We'll be setting some traps or poison or something to deal with the culprit.

This was Aaron's answer to the leak - posted beside the sink.

The water ran straight into his room.

This is me and my spectacular plumbing skills at work. I didn't have to cut too big a hole in the wall thankfully.

Me again. And notice the lovely moldy wall from all the water pouring into it.

Yuck!!

My lovely new connector without a hole in it inside my 80 year old wall.

Moldy wall bleached, cleaned up and painted and the cabinet going back in. I rotated this picture, but when it came up here it was back sideways, and I'm too tired to try to fix it. Sorry, you'll have to rotate your head.

And the sink going back on.

That's all Michele got pictures of. Of course then I still had to hook all the hose back up and of course one of the supply lines leaked, so I had to go get a new one. That was after my first trip to three different hardware stores, because all the plumbing supplies were closed. It's Saturday people - when am I supposed to do my plumbing repairs? Thank goodness for Home Depot. Then the drain pipes leaked which really annoyed me. A little teflon tape seemed to solve that problem, so the sink is back in working order. We don't have to share our bathroom any more. Every joint and muscle in my body hurts. Can't quite figure that one out. What a fun day! But I'm thankful I got a little of the plumbing gene from my grandfather. I'm sure a plumber would have charged me a small fortune to do that.

More Aaron

He's counting down until his birthday - 14 days until he turns 14. I can't even wrap my brain around that. I mean Michael 18, Michele 15, and Evan 10 is one of those "Wow, time flew" kind of things but Aaron and 14 just doesn't seem right. He's still changing alot. He now says, stuff like "Hey, 'Chele, can you do this" or "Mom, what does this mean?". And he now uses pronouns correctly and refers to himself in first person. Supposedly autistic people don't understand pronouns and how to use them. He's always known exactly what he was doing, he just enjoyed the game. And he no longer calls himself Darren - he's Aaron now. And we no longer have other names either. (Sorry Stella!) I guess he thinks it's time he grew up and put away childish things. I kind of enjoyed the games and those things never bothered me like they seemed to other people - like the people when he was in school who wrote into his IEP that he would not write his name in a box 70% of the time. I tried to assure them that I did not think he'd write his name in a box his entire life and even if he did, he'd probably have bigger issues than that to deal with, but they were quite adamant about the apparently unwritten rule stating thou "shalt now write thy name in a box." And that was before he started calling himself Daaron and then Darren - probably in response to the boxed-name worriers - they'd have surely been bothered by that. So although he's putting away so many of the games he played - and that's how I've always seen them - as games that he played so that we'd join him in his world - he's interacting with us much more and in what the world would see as "normal" ways. It's is really neat to feel him so "present" with us. He still enjoys his alone time, but he seeks us out much more. It still amazes me how he's changing and so fast too.

He's not feeling well tonight. He said his lungs and his stomach hurt. (And odd combination.) He's also never been able to articulate how he felt if he was sick - we'd basically never know he was sick at all until he was very ill, and even then, he wouldn't tell us anything was wrong. We'd just have to figure out on our own - like when we knew he had strep throat because he was drooling profusely because he couldn't swallow and when he broke his arm and only told us it was "bent". If it hadn't been bent we'd have never known it was broken. Both required rushed trips to the emergency room. I'm not sure how to take it now that he can tell us he's feeling bad and how. I worry that he's really sick only because he's never told us before. But then I figure that's changed with everything else, so I'll just watch him I guess. I always hate for my kids to be sick anyway.

I will miss seeing everyone in FW as we'll not be there this weekend. Michele and I saw a Star Telegram in the DQ tonight. (We stopped in for Catfish Friday Night - woohoo.) We were tempted to jump in the car and head that way, but we'll stay and try to get some things done here. I might unpack a few boxes. Got to play plumber first - got a leak in a wall - that should be fun! We hoped to do some fun stuff to the house like paint or plant some flowers, but we probably won't even have time for the unfun stuff that needs doing the worst. Maybe we'll post pictures of Michele's room. It's getting really cute. She has a little more time than I do.